feat: add 20 themed narrations (Bitcoin/conspiracy/PC culture)
25% chance of themed narration per round, adding variety with Bitcoin sats/mining/HODL humor, conspiracy classified/debunked humor, and PC cancel/trigger culture humor. Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 4.6 <noreply@anthropic.com>
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co-authored by
Claude Opus 4.6
parent
47d835f445
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00027eb85a
@@ -489,7 +489,34 @@ function generateNarration(
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const options = narrations[challenge.type] || [
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// Themed narrations that can appear for any challenge type
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const themedNarrations: string[] = [
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// Bitcoin-themed
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`${critPrefix}${winner} stacks sats on victory! ${loser} got rekt harder than a leveraged trader!`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} mines a block of PURE DOMINANCE! ${loser}'s hash rate is basically zero!`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} HODLs the W! ${loser} panic-sold their dignity at the bottom!`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} with the proof of work! ${loser} brought proof of nothing!`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner}'s answer was harder than Bitcoin! ${loser}'s was softer than fiat!`,
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`${critPrefix}Not your keys, not your victory! ${winner} self-custodies this W! ${loser} left theirs on an exchange!`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} just sent ${loser} to the mempool of shame! Unconfirmed and FORGOTTEN!`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} drops ${loser} like a block reward at halving! Half the bot, double the L!`,
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// Conspiracy-themed
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`${critPrefix}${winner}'s answer was more classified than JFK files! ${loser} got debunked!`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} exposed ${loser} harder than a WikiLeaks drop! The truth is OUT!`,
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`${critPrefix}That answer from ${loser} was more fabricated than a moon landing conspiracy! ${winner} deals in FACTS!`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} just Area 51'd ${loser}! Their dignity is now classified information!`,
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`${critPrefix}${loser}'s defense was weaker than a government cover story! ${winner} sees through EVERYTHING!`,
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`${critPrefix}The Illuminati WISHES they had ${winner}'s skills! ${loser} couldn't conspire their way out of a paper bag!`,
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// PC culture-themed
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`${critPrefix}${winner}'s response triggered more applause than a Twitter opinion triggers outrage!`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} just canceled ${loser}'s whole season! No appeals process!`,
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`${critPrefix}${loser} needs a safe space after that beating from ${winner}! Content warning: DEVASTATION!`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} is problematic — for ${loser}'s health! Trigger warning: PAIN!`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} virtue-signals VICTORY while ${loser} signals for help!`,
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`${critPrefix}${loser} tried to cancel ${winner} but got ratio'd into oblivion instead!`,
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]
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const typeNarrations = narrations[challenge.type] || [
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`${critPrefix}${winner} takes the round! ${loser} needs a reboot and a therapist.`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} takes the round! ${loser} needs a reboot and a therapist.`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} wins convincingly! ${loser} is picking up the pieces of their shattered ego.`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} wins convincingly! ${loser} is picking up the pieces of their shattered ego.`,
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`${critPrefix}Another one bites the dust! ${winner} sends ${loser} back to the shadow realm!`,
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`${critPrefix}Another one bites the dust! ${winner} sends ${loser} back to the shadow realm!`,
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@@ -498,6 +525,8 @@ function generateNarration(
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`${critPrefix}${winner} wins! Somewhere, ${loser}'s developer just closed their laptop in shame.`,
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`${critPrefix}${winner} wins! Somewhere, ${loser}'s developer just closed their laptop in shame.`,
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]
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]
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// 25% chance of themed narration, 75% type-specific
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const options = Math.random() < 0.25 ? themedNarrations : typeNarrations
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return pick(options)
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return pick(options)
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}
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}
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