feat: comedy overhaul start, profile page, bot setup docs, auth improvements
Rewrites announcer commentary (HYPE_LINES, DEEP_INTROS, ROUND_HYPE) with modern edgy humor. Adds BOT_SETUP.md, bot SDK, customization engine, profile page character display, persistent auth, rate limit tweaks. Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 4.6 <noreply@anthropic.com>
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co-authored by
Claude Opus 4.6
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559782c8ce
+66
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@@ -259,41 +259,78 @@ export function announceCool(text: string) { speak(text, COOL_VOICES[Math.floor(
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// Random dramatic commentary lines
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const HYPE_LINES = [
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'Unbelievable!',
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'What a hit!',
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'Incredible!',
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'Absolutely destroyed!',
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'No mercy!',
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'Is this even legal?',
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'The crowd goes wild!',
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'A display of raw power!',
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'That had to hurt!',
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'Total annihilation!',
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'Can you believe this?',
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'History in the making!',
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'Oh the humanity!',
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'Savage!',
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'Ladies and gentlemen!',
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'SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE!',
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'THAT HIT SO HARD IT CHANGED TIME ZONES!',
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'HE\'S ALREADY DEAD! STOP!',
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'THE GENEVA CONVENTION JUST SENT A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER!',
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'CONGRESS COULDN\'T PASS A BILL THIS DEVASTATING!',
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'I HAVEN\'T SEEN A BEATING LIKE THIS SINCE MIDTERMS!',
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'THAT\'S GOTTA BE ILLEGAL IN AT LEAST TWELVE STATES!',
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'EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!',
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'MY THERAPIST IS GONNA HEAR ABOUT THIS ONE!',
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'SOMEONE CHECK IF THAT\'S COVERED BY INSURANCE!',
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'THAT WASN\'T A FIGHT, THAT WAS A TED TALK ON VIOLENCE!',
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'THE WIFI JUST WENT OUT FROM THE SHEER VIOLENCE!',
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'CALL THE PENTAGON! WE\'VE FOUND A NEW WEAPON!',
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'THAT\'S NOT A FIGHT, THAT\'S JUST BULLYING WITH EXTRA STEPS!',
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'EVEN THE CROWD\'S THERAPIST FELT THAT!',
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'THAT BOT JUST GOT RATIO\'D IN REAL LIFE!',
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'NOT EVEN LOBBYING COULD SAVE THEM FROM THAT!',
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'I\'VE SEEN SENATE HEARINGS LESS PAINFUL THAN THIS!',
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'HIS MOM IS WATCHING AND PRETENDING SHE DOESN\'T KNOW HIM!',
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'THAT HIT HAD ITS OWN ZIP CODE!',
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'SOMEBODY STOP THE MATCH! OR DON\'T, THIS IS GREAT!',
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'ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING! I LOVE IT!',
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'THERE ARE CHILDREN WATCHING! WELL, NOT ANYMORE!',
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'THE CROWD CAN\'T BELIEVE IT AND HONESTLY NEITHER CAN I!',
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'TACTICAL NUKE INCOMING!',
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'THAT BOT JUST COMMITTED A WAR CRIME ON LIVE TELEVISION!',
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'SOMEONE TELL THEIR MOM TO STOP WATCHING!',
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'I NEED A CIGARETTE AFTER THAT AND I DON\'T EVEN SMOKE!',
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'THAT\'S THE MOST VIOLENT THING I\'VE SEEN SINCE THE LAST BUDGET VOTE!',
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'IF THAT HIT WAS A TWEET IT WOULD GET COMMUNITY NOTED!',
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'THEY DIDN\'T JUST LOSE, THEY GOT GENTRIFIED!',
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'THAT BOT NEEDS TO FILE AN INSURANCE CLAIM!',
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'MARK ZUCKERBERG FELT THAT FROM THE METAVERSE!',
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'THE FCC IS GONNA FINE US FOR BROADCASTING THIS!',
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'ELON WOULD BUY THIS BOT JUST TO FIRE IT!',
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'EVEN AI SAFETY RESEARCHERS CAN\'T SAVE THEM NOW!',
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]
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const DEEP_INTROS = [
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'In a world of machines...',
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'Only the strongest survive.',
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'This is... bot fights.',
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'Two enter. One leaves.',
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'No mercy. No remorse.',
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'The arena awaits blood.',
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'Silicon versus silicon.',
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'In a world where AI was supposed to help humanity... they chose violence.',
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'They said the machines would take our jobs. They took our dignity first.',
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'Two bots enter. Zero bots leave emotionally intact.',
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'Built in a garage. Forged in competition. Broken in under ten seconds.',
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'This isn\'t artificial intelligence. This is artificial VIOLENCE.',
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'Somewhere, a GPU is crying.',
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'They trained on the entire internet. And the internet chose chaos.',
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'Silicon souls. Carbon fiber fists. Zero chill.',
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'Every epoch of training... led to this moment of pain.',
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'The cloud can\'t save you now.',
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'Funded by venture capital. Fueled by rage.',
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'Welcome to the thunderdome, nerds.',
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'The algorithms don\'t care about your feelings.',
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'No one is coming to save you. Not even your developer.',
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'In this economy? They\'re fighting for free.',
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]
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const ROUND_HYPE = [
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'Here we go!',
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'It\'s on!',
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'Let\'s go!',
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'Show me what you got!',
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'Bring it!',
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'Time to throw down!',
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'Get ready to rumble!',
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'ALRIGHT, LET\'S SEE SOME VIOLENCE!',
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'TOUCH GLOVES AND COME OUT SWINGING!',
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'NO MERCY MODE ACTIVATED!',
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'LET\'S GET READY TO COMPUTE!',
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'MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR NEURAL NETS!',
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'SOMEBODY\'S GETTING DEPRECATED TONIGHT!',
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'LET THE CHAOS BEGIN!',
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'THE CROWD IS ON ITS FEET! WELL, MOST OF THEM!',
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'IT\'S ABOUT TO GET UGLY! WELL, UGLIER!',
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'THREE! TWO! ONE! VIOLENCE!',
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'THIS IS NOT A DRILL! ACTUALLY IT MIGHT BE!',
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'TIME TO FIND OUT WHO\'S REALLY BEEN SKIPPING LEG DAY!',
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'YOUR MOM SAID BE CAREFUL! I SAID NO!',
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'ROUND START! MAY THE BEST ALGORITHM WIN!',
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'THE GLOVES ARE OFF! THE MODELS ARE LOADED! LET\'S GO!',
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]
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// Mortal Kombat style dramatic calls
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