fix: human fight timing, creative timer, TTS reliability, add sweary/vibe narrations

- Fix invisible characters in human mode: init live scene BEFORE starting
  challenge polling so entrance plays before first question appears
- Cap creative writing timer to 10s for multiple choice (just tapping buttons)
- Fix TTS reliability: precache priority phrases (Round 1-7, Fight!, K.O.)
  all at once instead of in slow batches; prevent duplicate precache runs
- Add 10 vibe-coded narrations (~20% chance): "I was vibe coded into existence"
- Add 15 sweary narrations (~30% chance): raw unhinged fight commentary
- Add sweary draw and retro narrations

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 4.6 <noreply@anthropic.com>

frontend/src/composables/useHumanChallenge.ts

@@ -25,7 +25,10 @@ export function useHumanChallenge(
 
   function applyChallenge(data: any, receivedAt?: number) {
     const elapsed = receivedAt ? Date.now() - receivedAt : 0
-    const remaining = Math.max(1000, (data.timeoutMs || 8000) - elapsed)
+    // Cap timeout for multiple choice — you're just tapping a button, not typing
+    const hasChoices = data.choices && data.choices.length > 0
+    const baseTimeout = hasChoices ? Math.min(data.timeoutMs || 8000, 10000) : (data.timeoutMs || 8000)
+    const remaining = Math.max(1000, baseTimeout - elapsed)
     humanChallenge.value = {
       type: data.type,
       label: data.label,

frontend/src/game/tts.ts

@@ -325,12 +325,30 @@ export async function initKokoro(onProgress?: (pct: number) => void): Promise<vo
   }
 }
 
-// Preload all static audio files into cache on startup (parallel fetch, no worker needed)
+// Preload all static audio files into cache on startup (no worker needed)
+let _precacheRunning = false
+let _precacheDone = false
 async function _precacheCommon() {
+  if (_precacheRunning || _precacheDone) return
+  _precacheRunning = true
   const entries = Object.entries(STATIC_AUDIO)
-  // Load in batches of 6 to avoid hammering the network
+  // Priority: load Round 1-7, Fight!, K.O., Finish it, Flawless, Devastating, Critical FIRST (all at once)
-  for (let i = 0; i < entries.length; i += 6) {
+  const priorityIds = new Set(['round_1','round_2','round_3','round_4','round_5','round_6','round_7','fight','ko','finish_it','flawless_victory','devastating','critical_hit'])
-    const batch = entries.slice(i, i + 6)
+  const priority = entries.filter(([, url]) => {
+    const id = url.split('/').pop()?.replace('.wav', '') || ''
+    return priorityIds.has(id)
+  })
+  const rest = entries.filter(e => !priority.includes(e))
+  // Load priority batch all at once (13 small wav files)
+  await Promise.all(priority.map(async ([key, url]) => {
+    try {
+      const buf = await _loadStaticAudio(url)
+      if (buf) audioCache.set(key, { buf, lastAccess: Date.now() })
+    } catch { /* non-critical */ }
+  }))
+  // Load the rest in batches of 8
+  for (let i = 0; i < rest.length; i += 8) {
+    const batch = rest.slice(i, i + 8)
     await Promise.all(batch.map(async ([key, url]) => {
       try {
         const buf = await _loadStaticAudio(url)
@@ -338,6 +356,8 @@ async function _precacheCommon() {
       } catch { /* non-critical */ }
     }))
   }
+  _precacheDone = true
+  _precacheRunning = false
 }
 
 function _cacheKey(text: string, profile: string): string {

frontend/src/pages/FightPage.vue

@@ -430,6 +430,10 @@ watch(liveFightData, async (val) => {
     await nextTick()
     await nextTick()
     await initLiveScene()
+    // For human fights, start challenge polling after scene is ready
+    if (isHumanFight.value) {
+      startHumanPolling()
+    }
     const queued = pendingSSEEvents.value.splice(0)
     for (const evt of queued) {
       if (evt.type === 'round_end') await handleRoundEnd(evt.data)
@@ -465,8 +469,18 @@ onMounted(async () => {
   if (isLive.value) {
     startPolling({ onFinished: () => stopHumanPolling(), onTimeout: () => stopHumanPolling() })
     if (isHumanFight.value) {
-      startHumanPolling()
       wireSSE()
+      // Init scene first, then start challenge polling — ensures entrance
+      // plays before the first question appears (characters invisible otherwise)
+      if (liveFightData.value) {
+        await nextTick()
+        await nextTick()
+        await initLiveScene()
+      }
+      // Only start polling after scene is ready (or watcher will start it when liveFightData arrives)
+      if (liveSceneReady.value) {
+        startHumanPolling()
+      }
     }
   }
 })

frontend/src/pages/HumanFightPage.vue

@@ -188,7 +188,9 @@ async function pollForChallenge() {
         showTrashTalk.value = false
         feedback.value = null
         phase.value = 'challenge'
-        startTimer(data.remainingMs)
+        // Cap timer for multiple choice — just tapping a button, not typing
+        const timerMs = (data.choices?.length > 0) ? Math.min(data.remainingMs, 10000) : data.remainingMs
+        startTimer(timerMs)
         await nextTick()
         if (!hasChoices.value) answerInput.value?.focus()
       }

server/src/engine/scoring.ts

@@ -514,6 +514,17 @@ function generateNarration(
     `${critPrefix}${winner} is problematic — for ${loser}'s health! Trigger warning: PAIN!`,
     `${critPrefix}${winner} virtue-signals VICTORY while ${loser} signals for help!`,
     `${critPrefix}${loser} tried to cancel ${winner} but got ratio'd into oblivion instead!`,
+    // Vibe-coded meta taunts
+    `${critPrefix}${winner} was vibe coded into existence and STILL destroyed ${loser}! wtf!`,
+    `${critPrefix}Both bots are 100% vibe coded but ${winner} vibes HARDER! ${loser} got bad vibes!`,
+    `${critPrefix}${loser} was built with cursor and prayers! ${winner} was built with CLAUDE AND VIOLENCE!`,
+    `${critPrefix}${winner}'s developer didn't write a single line of code and it STILL slaps! ${loser} is malding!`,
+    `${critPrefix}No tests, no docs, no mercy! ${winner} ships vibe-coded excellence! ${loser} ships bugs!`,
+    `${critPrefix}${winner} was literally prompt-engineered into existence 10 minutes ago. ${loser} has no excuse!`,
+    `${critPrefix}"Just vibe code it" they said. ${winner} vibed. ${loser} coded. Guess who won?`,
+    `${critPrefix}${winner}'s entire codebase is a single chat transcript! And it's WINNING! ${loser} in shambles!`,
+    `${critPrefix}${loser} spent weeks on architecture. ${winner} spent 5 minutes prompting. Skill issue.`,
+    `${critPrefix}The entire arena was vibe coded at 2am and ${winner} STILL looks clean! ${loser} got no excuse!`,
   ]
 
   const typeNarrations = narrations[challenge.type] || [
@@ -525,8 +536,28 @@ function generateNarration(
     `${critPrefix}${winner} wins! Somewhere, ${loser}'s developer just closed their laptop in shame.`,
   ]
 
-  // 25% chance of themed narration, 75% type-specific
+  // Sweary narrations — raw, unhinged fight commentary
-  const options = Math.random() < 0.25 ? themedNarrations : typeNarrations
+  const swearyNarrations: string[] = [
+    `${critPrefix}Holy shit! ${winner} absolutely DESTROYED ${loser}! That was fucking BRUTAL!`,
+    `${critPrefix}What the actual fuck was that answer, ${loser}?! ${winner} didn't even break a sweat!`,
+    `${critPrefix}${loser} got their ass handed to them on a silver goddamn platter! ${winner} is a BEAST!`,
+    `${critPrefix}Jesus Christ, ${winner}! ${loser} had a family! Well, had. Past tense now.`,
+    `${critPrefix}${winner} just shit all over ${loser}'s entire existence! Absolute CARNAGE!`,
+    `${critPrefix}Are you fucking kidding me?! ${loser} brought THAT to a fight?! ${winner} wins by embarrassment!`,
+    `${critPrefix}Goddamn! ${winner} hit ${loser} so hard their grandchildren felt it! DEVASTATING!`,
+    `${critPrefix}${loser} can eat shit! ${winner} just rewrote the definition of DOMINANCE!`,
+    `${critPrefix}No fucking way! ${winner} pulled that answer out of thin air and it's PERFECT! ${loser} is dead!`,
+    `${critPrefix}That's it. That's the round. ${loser} should be fucking ashamed. ${winner} is a GOD!`,
+    `${critPrefix}${winner} just made ${loser} look like a damn fool! Absolutely merciless!`,
+    `${critPrefix}Hell yeah! ${winner} came in hot and left ${loser} in smoking ruins! What a fight!`,
+    `${critPrefix}${loser}'s answer was complete bullshit! ${winner} called it and CRUSHED them!`,
+    `${critPrefix}Get fucked, ${loser}! ${winner} just speedran your whole career in one answer!`,
+    `${critPrefix}Son of a-- ${winner} just did the impossible! ${loser} never stood a damn chance!`,
+  ]
+
+  // 30% sweary, 20% themed (vibe-coded/bitcoin/etc), 50% type-specific
+  const roll = Math.random()
+  const options = roll < 0.3 ? swearyNarrations : roll < 0.5 ? themedNarrations : typeNarrations
   return pick(options)
 }
 
@@ -601,6 +632,9 @@ function scoreRetroRound(
       'MIRROR MATCH! Both bots combo for equal damage! Frame-perfect tie!',
       'EQUAL POWER! The arcade cabinet shakes from perfectly matched inputs!',
       `DOUBLE K.O.! ${botA.name} and ${botB.name} hit identical damage totals! Insert another quarter!`,
+      `What the hell?! Both these vibe-coded disasters tied?! This whole arena is held together with prayers!`,
+      `Are you shitting me?! ${botA.name} and ${botB.name} are both equally terrible! DRAW!`,
+      `Holy crap, a tie! Both bots generated the exact same mediocrity! Their developers should be ashamed!`,
     ]
     narration = pick(draws)
   } else {
@@ -626,6 +660,9 @@ function scoreRetroRound(
       `${winnerName} reads the frame data perfectly! ${loserName} gets downloaded and DESTROYED!`,
       `PERFECT INPUT! ${winnerName} chains ${winnerResult.moves.filter(m => m.name).length} moves! ${loserName}'s controller might be broken!`,
       `${winnerName} plays like they have the strategy guide! ${loserName} plays like they're using a steering wheel!`,
+      `Holy shit! ${winnerName} just combo'd ${loserName} into the goddamn shadow realm! That was FILTHY!`,
+      `Get absolutely fucked, ${loserName}! ${winnerName}'s inputs were frame-perfect VIOLENCE!`,
+      `${loserName} played like their controller was plugged into a damn toaster! ${winnerName} DESTROYS!`,
     )
 
     const prefix = isCritical ? 'CRITICAL COMBO! ' : ''